domingo, 27 de septiembre de 2009

BALBUENA


¡¡Se pudrió todo!!
Nos tenemos que reunir la Comisión Directiva del Clú, porque hay denuncias de desmanejos. Esto debe ser cosa del gordo cornudo y buchón de Balbuena, ahora que andamos rebién con el fulbo, viene a romper las bolas con las cuentas claras.
Gordo trolo, ¡Vigilá a tu jermu en lugar de venir a jodernos!
Estoy muy caliente como para escribir, más vale después cuando esté calmado, les cuento como van las cosas.
Me hacen hervir la sangre, me hacen.

Bueno, acá estoy. Zafamos ahí de una auditoría. Estuvimos laburando como locos para juntar los papeles, conseguir facturas y recibos, truchar documentos, de todo. El tordo Inzaguirre nos aseguró que, si no se ponían en putos, pasaba cualquier control. Y salió todo bien. El gordo Balbuena se la tuvo que morfar, pero no se va a quedar tranquilo. Va a estar al acecho para saltarnos encima apenas metamos la gamba en algo. Y más ahora que, con lo del Pollo y el fútbol, el Clú aumentó la cantidad de socios.
Con el Luis (el gordo) nos conocemos de pibes, se podría decir que nos criamos juntos. Nunca fuimos amigos, sino que nos tolerábamos. Nos cagamos a piñas un par de veces de pendejos y de más grandes una vez, una pelea que todavía se recuerda en el barrio. Teníamos una relación de conveniencia. Él siempre andaba con guita (el viejo tenía la tienda más grande del barrio, la que el Luis heredó), yo era más tirado, pero el gordo no era tan agraciado y eso hacía que se cohibiera con las minas. Así que yo encaraba y él garpaba y ganabámos los dos. Con el tiempo, dejamos de necesitarnos. Yo ya tenía mi laburo en la imprenta, así que no necesitaba de los recursos del gordo y él empezó a agarrar más confianza, con lo que cada uno hacía la suya.
A los 20 se puso de novio con la Dorita, la que ahora es su jermu. Ninguna boluda la mina, en ese tiempo ya la tenía clara. Podía haber salido con quien quisiera (de hecho lo hizo), pero se eligió al que le iba a dar un futuro sin sobresaltos. El Luis era el tipo que necesitaba para zafar de la malaria, igual después se la podría rebuscar si necesitaba amantes. Yo anduve un tiempo con ella de pendejo, pero ya se notaba que la tipa buscaba otra cosa. Un par de meses antes de casarse con el Gordo tuvimos un encuentro, pero no pasó de ahí. Nadie nunca supo nada de eso, pero cuando estábamos en campaña para las elecciones del Clú, se corrió la bola que yo había salido con la Dorita mientras estaba casada con el Luis. Nada que ver, pero yo no salí a desmentirlo porque lo quería hacer engranar al Gordo. El Luis picó y se fue de boca, quedando ante la gente no sólo como cornudo, sino como un reverendo pelotudo. Me parece que el Nono tuvo que ver con desparramar el chisme, ya que era el único que podía sospechar algo. Una, porque es un viejo zorro y dos, porque cuando nos encontramos con la Dorita en el telo ocurrió que, cuando salíamos, se había armado revuelo. A un tipo le había dado un ataque mientras estaba con una trola y la mina gritaba que era verso, que lo hacía para no garparle, típico truco del Nono. Cuando la ambulancia se fue, pasó al lado nuestro y por la ventanilla me parece que el viejo me bichó, aunque nunca hizo ni un comentario.
La cuestión que el Gordo ahora no sólo me odia por creer que me empomaba a su jermu, sino porque le ganamos las elecciones, a pesar de que él puso toda la guita y nosotros nos manejamos a pulmón y, ¿por qué no decirlo? le mandamos presión a la gente con la ayuda inestimable de los hermanos Benítez, duchos en el arte del apriete.
El Gordo buchón nos la tiene jurada y va a aprovechar cualquier oportunidad para escracharnos. Bueno, que haga lo que quiera, acá lo esperamos.
Como dirían por ahí: NO-TE-TE-NE-MOS-MIE-DO.
Me voy, che. La Mabel hace como una hora que me espera para tomar mate y los hace riquísimos.
Nos vemos, pórtense bien, miren al cruzar, pónganse un saquito y, sobre todo, no hablen con extraños.

13 comentarios:

♥Anita♥ dijo...

Má q saquito, con el fresquete q hace hoy, campera, bufanda, guantes y gorro de lana.

Gordo resentido ese Balbuena. Tendrias q mandar a seguir a la Dorita para ver si tiene chongo o no, y lo apretas vos por ahi.

Entonces ahora tamos en "regla",no? o habra q mandar a las hormiguitas para q hagan las facturas q faltan?

¡Jotapé! dijo...

Eso mismo, con las hormiguitas zafamos de cualquier control.

¡Aguante el clú!

Stella dijo...

Che, Ade, Elclú se va para arriba!! Salió como blog recomendado en minutouno.com!
Felicitaciones!! :)

magu dijo...

BALBUENA
Tiene cara de malo, ese apellido debería cambiárselo por MALDONADO, MALNACIDO o MALCRIADO. Todos los capos del futbol terminan teniendo esa cara temeraria, taimada, de imponer respeto o vaya a saber que.
Hace frío, Tú lo has dicho

magu dijo...

SOBRINO ADENOZ
Para contrarrestar con tu terminología profusamente chabacana y machista te mando

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXRZQIfxlIU

Es un purificador efectivo.
también te envio a un sacerdote con mi nuevo administrador y gestor, ya que el anterior, PRUDENCIO tuvo que renunciar y hacerse cargo de la Porrista Hormiguta (rápida como toda hormiguita) LA CARLITA.
El sacerdote lleva agua bendita para tirar en todo tu clú, desexorcizarlo, santificarlo y darle un aire de candidez angélica.
Recibilos con candor y amabilidad propia de nuestra alcurnia y sangre azul (que también te llevan unos míseros miles de euros), por favor, no le comentes esto a ninguna de las HORMIGUITAS aún solteras, no sea que lo seduzcan al sacerdote y al nuevo administrador y otra vez te dejen sin nada.
Querido Ade
El tío y yo te mandamos
un santo saludito y besos
que estés bien
y también abrigate
DIOS te bendiga
(y los santos querubines)

El nuevo administrador mio se llama SEÑOR BARRIGA, me lo recomendó una señora llamada Doña Florinda, dice que actuaba en la tele hace años. Estrella internacional dijo.

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